Political Soaps

Don't you just love political conventions, whether Democratic, Republican, elephant or donkey? They remind me of soap operas around Christmas. You know, when the biotch develops a heart of gold (that vanishes after the holidays) or the fueding couple falls in love or in love again, and again, and again. Enemies become friends around the holidays and share a peaceful Diet Coke moment that quickly crumbles into another fued or scandal. Kind of like how the Clintons are so supportive of Barack Obama now. They had a change of heart. The fairy tale is now reality. I really hate politics.

German Tradition

Aunt Donna prepares the feast.

Jack and I participated in a German tradition this weekend. My aunt hosted a potato pancake feast, not hash browns, actual potato pancakes. We had a great time. Jack lasted an hour and then started to melt down. He didn't try any potato pancakes but they were good. We'll save that for next year. He did enjoy the rice pudding. Other yummies included lima beans and a Tastefully Simple mexican dip. Kudos to my aunt who prepared the meal and didn't mind all of us invading her home.

Jack enjoys the rice pudding.

Grandpa and Jack.

SIL samples the fabulous potato pancakes.

My brother, Doug, with Jack and his son, Garrett.

Guys and their balls

Can I get a butt lift in dressing room 4?

Mom and me

Shopping for pants is a big pain. Why do all pants seem to fit below the waist now? Thanks for the butt lift but while you're sucking the underwear as tightly as possible to my crack (actually converting my granny panty into a whale tail), can you make my butt look a little smaller?

Mom and I went shopping today. It started out as shoe shopping and then turned to clothes shopping. I hate shopping for clothes. I loved it when I was a kid. Of course, I was a little smaller then. But years went by and, as they did, mom implanted the buyer's remorse/guilt complex into my membrane, "Do you really need that or do you want that?"

Now, I can barely stand to even window shop for clothes. Mom bought the shoes and clothes for me today saying it was for my birthday which is actually three months away. Anyway, the fact that she bought the clothes makes the guilt even more complex. I hardly have the heart to take the few pairs of pants out of the shopping bags. I just want her to return them. Weird, huh? I guess I should count my blessings while I'm pondering the remorse.

Too Fly For a White Girl

What do you do when your boss tells you your fly is down?Just laugh it off like I did while your face glows beet red. I told my boss that I left it down on purpose, that it was a test of his friendship.

I attended a press conference today for Columbia's new airline service. In an attempt to play reporter, I put on a suit based on the following requirements: it had to be clean and not wrinkled.

Mike made fun of me, saying I looked like a stewardess in my blue get-up. During the pre hub-bub, I visited with one of the city's PR people while she visited with a couple of journalism students. Later, I learned that they asked if I was a stewardess. Ha, ha. Thanks for flying. Please fasten your seatbelts.

While we waited for the press conference to begin, I noticed the following advertisement for a publisher in town. Can you spot the error?
Can you see it now?Come on. Get smart already.

Just Jack

Can I get any cuter?

I don't think so.

Great photos by EE.

Cleaning House

It's time to do some fall cleaning. My catacomb, attic, whatever you call it, needs to be cleaned. I prefer to call it my inhospitable working environment. I went to the doctor today and saw two huge chocolate cysts (yummy) perched comfortably in my non existant womb. So, I am headed for surgery next month. My physician will clean house, taking out as much endometriosis as possible. My biggest hope is to keep both ovaries. I have a very slight hope that cleaning house might make room for something else.

On another much lighter note, do we seriously need a trampoline competition in the Olympics? I'm trying not to laugh here but...

Can't you just see a Saturday Night Live skit with a very tiny trampoline low to the ground and several athletes falling off? I don't know how the commentators kept such serious voices throughout the competition.

Getting the adoption lingo down

Jack and I attended a parish picnic today and saw his great grandparents (his birth mother's grandparents). It was wonderful to see them and Jack let his great grandma actually hold him, for a few seconds anyway. He was very hungry and not in a mood to go to anyone else.

While we were there, we found out that Jack's birth mother was spending the day at Six Flags. When we went back to my parents' home, my father asked, "Where was Jack's real mother?" "You mean 'birth mother,'" I replied. "We say 'birth mother.'"

Dad fumbled with an apology, saying he didn't know the proper way to say things and I know that. Even though I am immersed in the adoption lingo and process, I know that others are not. I think that's the first time though that someone had used the 'real' word before. Surprisingly, it didn't make me mad. Just kind of surprised me.

Leave it to the biotch

Well, I did it. Five minutes ago, I went outside in my night shirt and asked our neighbors if they were done playing basketball. I told them it was keeping Jack awake which was only half a lie. Jack had been awake but he's a much heavier sleeper than me.

How much common sense does it take to realize you should probably quit playing basketball before midnight? So, our neighbors said they were done playing when I asked but at least I grew some nerves and did what I've been dreaming of doing. I'm not a big fan of confrontation so it took some guts to do that.

Good night!

*By the way, the posted time is off by an hour.

Toilet Trivia

Did you know that the splash radius of a high-powered public restroom toilet is as far as 20 feet and can pack as many as 1 million infectious organisms in its spray? I thought of this trash talk when I visited a public restroom today and saw the sanitary seat covers above the toilet. How refreshing!

Just because

Just because I haven't posted pictures of Jack recently, I thought I'd post a couple taken in July by the Great EE. Check out EE's site for some additional pics of my little man.

Like Oh My Gosh

One of my wonderful MPA friends and her husband are moving to Maine next week so there was a small gathering at a local bar tonight. Nearby, a sorority RUSH party must have been going on. It was so fun to watch these mostly blonde girls giving themself cheers, doing headstands while drinking from a keg, adjusting their halter tops and jumping on a trampoline. Some were quite talented and actually jumped with liquor in hand. Some jumped and veered off to the side but they always came back for more. There was some diversity in the crowd. Several brunettes managed to sneak in. Like, oh my gosh, Becky. Good times.

Mystery Meat

You know how people find faces and shapes in food like potato chips? I recently feasted on a mystery meat that resembled pork chops in the shape of a tush. I should have tried to sell it on Ebay. The MM beat the turkey rolls my classmates and I detested and smashed into our milk cartons in grade school.

Bozo of the Week Award

The Bozo of the Week award goes to our next door neighbors. They recently bought a basketball hoop and decided to play ball last night. I thought their shenanigans would stop at 10, but no, that would have been too early. 10:30? Try somewhere close to 11. If the bozos had kept Jack awake I would have gone over and given them a piece of my mind.

The bozos have two children under 5. Apparently, they can sleep through anything too.

We'll see what tonight brings. Maybe an out-of-control vehicle that runs into their basketball hoop. Now, wouldn't that be a shame?

Back Home

My nephew is back home. Thank God. I'm sure my brother and his wife are so glad to be sleeping in their own beds tonight. My niece is also happy to have her baby brother home. They will go back to St. Louis for a check-up in a couple of months.

Thank you for your prayers! I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Medical Update

We went to see my nephew yesterday. The sight of an IV in his arm brought me to tears. He was groggy and the areas under his eyes appeared a little dark and hollow. However, I was grateful to see that he still looked roly poly. As the spinal test and blood work results come back, the doctors seem to be dismissing the virus theory and are leaning towards a tumor.

We hope that my brother, his wife and their son can return home this weekend. My nephew will continue to take anti-seizure medicine and will be monitored by MRIs every few months. If the tumor's size says the same, it is likely that it will not be removed until he turns two.

Doctors say a baby's brain is like jello and that this tumor could have existed when he was still in the womb. There is hope his brain will develop normally and that the tumor may not affect anything or at least impact very little in development and cranial capacity.

The Children's Hospital in St. Louis is very nice. Although, like most people, I'm not a big fan of hospitals, effort has been taken to make this hospital look as kid friendly as possible.

Thank you for your prayers.

Prayer Request

I've been debating whether or not to post this but I think our family can use the prayers you might offer on our behalf. One of my nephews has been in a St. Louis hospital since yesterday. He was unresponsive with raspy breathing on Tuesday morning so he was rushed to a Jefferson City Hospital and later flown to St. Louis. Although an MRI showed a spot on the left side of his brain, the physicians aren't sure if it's a tumor or an infection. He's doing much better. He was already alert last night. The physicians will meet tomorrow and come up with a game plan on the next steps to take with his medical care.

We plan to visit him tomorrow. Jack will probably not go as the physicians may limit contact to adults only.

My brother says if his son's medical case was included in one of those hour dramas, they would only be ten minutes into the program. It's frustrating for them and us because without a diagosis there is no defined solution.

Fish Funk and a Foot Fetish

Jack and I visited the grandparents today while Mike stayed home and tried to catch up on work. That can only mean one thing. When I came home, the grandest funk greeted me. It smelled like Mike had been canning pickles. The pungent smell of dill seemed to be in the air. Well, Mike made gumbo and insisted it was a fish smell. I'm still looking around for the glass jars of pickles.

Jack and I attended a Tastefully Simple party at my SIL's today. While we were there, Jack seemed enraptured by a couple of ladies' painted toes. Now, grant it, my toes were painted but held little fascination for him. I hope he does not become some foot fetish perv that hangs out at beaches and parks and steals women's shoes. I guess I'll have to start painting my Fred Flinstone feet. Normally, I don't mess with nail polish because I don't like to draw extra attention to my feet. But I have a couple of nail polish shades, including black. Thanks EE. I guess I have a good reason to go Goth now.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. The Olympic games begin this week!