Today marks the end of nine months since our log-in-date (LID). If I was physically pregnant, I would be awarded with the birth of a baby. Instead, I wait. Who knows how many more trimesters I could experience as we wait for our match with Maggie Rose.
The LID determines when you will be placed with a child from China. In the past, the China Center of Adoption Affairs has matched an average of 10 log-in dates each month. The latest rumor worries me a bit. Supposedly, CCAA is only sending referrals for two log-in-dates, making 10/26/05 the cut-off. This is devastating, not only for the people who were next in-line and hoping to be matched this month but also for me since I’ll be lucky to get a referral sometime in 2008.
A friend's agency predicts that people who are just starting the process will wait 24 months. Amazing. When we started the adoption process, the projected wait was 9 to 12 months. We may end up waiting 18 to 24 months.
This wait becomes more painful as friends and family members become pregnant. I am very happy for them. I am always happy for people who become pregnant, especially when it’s been difficult for us. However, I will hold their babies before I hold Maggie Rose. I’ll see their faces before I can put a face with my little princess. I'll experience another Christmas without my baby.
In a year or more when I’m matched with Maggie Rose, all this pain will ebb into the background and I will have the beginning of a family that has always been in my prayers. After all, God’s timing is perfect. I just wish it corresponded with mine.