Saturday, July 7, 2007

Happy Anniversary!?

It's a day that many hope is a lucky one. 7/7/07. Although Mike and I didn't win the lottery tonight, we did celebrate our one year LID anniversary. It's been one year since we were logged in at the CCAA, the center for international adoptions in China. What does this mean?

When we started the paperwork process in Fall 2005, it meant that our precious daughter would be home by now. But the wait crept from 6 to 9 months to 9 to 12 months. Our current wait for a referral is more than 20 months. Will we receive Maggie's referral around our second anniversary? July 7 falls on a Monday next year but I doubt we will have Maggie's referral by then. My hope is that Mike and I travel to China in Fall 2008 and bring Maggie home in time to celebrate Christmas.

Last year, I found it tough to celebrate Christmas without Maggie but I comforted myself that she might be with us this Christmas. It is now my dream that I can send family and friends a family photo including Maggie in our 2008 holiday cards.

Tonight Mike and I celebrated our anniversary by going out to dinner, as is our habit after church. We went to Culvers where we chewed on a fast meal with rubbery beans. We also took a commemorative picture that is not flattering to either of us. Someday, I will have the courage to post that picture.

My friends tell me now to worry. I have been so busy lately, so much that I don't have the time or energy to worry much. However, I am impatient for our daughter's arrival and pray that God will give us strength. We know everything happens in God's time. We just hope we're not senior citizens by the time it does. I don't want my teeth to fall out as Maggie's comes in.

Ok, so we're not that old. We just feel like it sometimes.

Happy Anniversary! Let's hope this year passes by as quickly as the last.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Just my style

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city soul with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian people - could life get any better?

Saturday, April 7, 2007

My fourth trimester begins

Today marks the end of nine months since our log-in-date (LID). If I was physically pregnant, I would be awarded with the birth of a baby. Instead, I wait. Who knows how many more trimesters I could experience as we wait for our match with Maggie Rose.

The LID determines when you will be placed with a child from China. In the past, the China Center of Adoption Affairs has matched an average of 10 log-in dates each month. The latest rumor worries me a bit. Supposedly, CCAA is only sending referrals for two log-in-dates, making 10/26/05 the cut-off. This is devastating, not only for the people who were next in-line and hoping to be matched this month but also for me since I’ll be lucky to get a referral sometime in 2008.

A friend's agency predicts that people who are just starting the process will wait 24 months. Amazing. When we started the adoption process, the projected wait was 9 to 12 months. We may end up waiting 18 to 24 months.

This wait becomes more painful as friends and family members become pregnant. I am very happy for them. I am always happy for people who become pregnant, especially when it’s been difficult for us. However, I will hold their babies before I hold Maggie Rose. I’ll see their faces before I can put a face with my little princess. I'll experience another Christmas without my baby.

In a year or more when I’m matched with Maggie Rose, all this pain will ebb into the background and I will have the beginning of a family that has always been in my prayers. After all, God’s timing is perfect. I just wish it corresponded with mine.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

One Minute Meditation

Always the aunt, never the mother.

The road to a family has not been an easy one for my husband and me. I was born to have babies. I've had birthing hips since grade school. In fact, all I've ever wanted in life is to have a family. It seems ironic that the thing I want most in this life is so difficult to obtain.

Thank God there is the gift of adoption. My husband and I decided to adopt from China back in 2005. We look forward to bringing home our little girl in 2008.

In the meantime, there is the long wait. What started out as a 9 to 12 month wait has extended to 18 months and will probably reach 24 months before we are matched with our precious girl.

Our parish bulletin sometimes contains a "One Minute Meditation." One meditation titled "God gives you what you can handle" has become my motto through the adoption process. The following is adapted from 1 Corinthians 10:13:

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

Struggling to start a family has become the cross that my husband and I bear. But God helped us see how adoption could be a wonderful option, a blessed way to start a family. I can't wait to share that journey with you.